Reading the Artist Way, by Julia Cameron, was like whipping steam from the mirror of my mind. It invited me to see myself wholly. It gave faces to the demons that kept me mentally tormented and privately expressive and creative. Always walking and styling myself to the beat of my own drum, I also learned how easy it was and could be, to masquerade as convention. I wont lie and say I was great at it; glitter gets on everything and falls off mask relatively easily.
If I do nothing in this life, I’d like to be myself fully and completely. No mask. In the age of likes, follows, and subscribers, I’ve come to the internet to meet like minded people like myself and in sharing myself, my love, my lost, and my struggles to hopefully find peace within myself and full expression and acceptance of myself. And maybe you’ll find it here to.
It’s not easy. Sharing the canvases that have for so long been my shields. But the isolation of protection, is no longer healthy for my psyche. My entanglement with the saboteur is complicated, like any abusive relationship. My saboteur believes in me but only wants me to go so far. When I rise above a place of inadequacy and reach a new place of clarity and strength within myself, the saboteur is alarmed. Fueled by my fear of success, stumbling blocks and sometimes drive for perfection, the saboteur roars, and I shrink back into the shadows of myself, into the lulls of the saboteur. But I can’t anymore. It’s suffocating.stifling. and dangerous.
So I blow these words, videos, and images, like Dandelion petals cast to the wind with the biggest wish being one that leads me to you and me to myself.
I’m not perfection. I’m not yet more than the shadow of greatness that I aspire to be. But what I am is Unbelievably Human. This is my journey.
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